Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
