Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
