I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
