That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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