Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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