just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize