Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
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