But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She tied me up with her honor cords...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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