sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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