If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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