they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
