You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
