if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
