Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
