BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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