There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
