so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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