Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
