i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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