she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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