omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
