God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
