It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize