Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
