I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I touched a dick in church today
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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