I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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