He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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