There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
