I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
