That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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