so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
