Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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