I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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