they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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