I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
