He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
