is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
