Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
