There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
