woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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