This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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