your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
