Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
