Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
