This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
