thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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