Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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