Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
