I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
