at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
