Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
