After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
