need another drink. this is the easiest way
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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