I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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