Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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