My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
