We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
