Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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