Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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