wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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