And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
