Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
