I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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