There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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