The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
