I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
