he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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