I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize