I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
