Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize