She is in my trunk
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
