that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
