We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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